Protein and Bingeing

"Go on - You know you want me"

Just a quickie really. I've had a bit of a bingey couple of days. The desire to binge is always so strong and I constantly just feel a chocolate bar away from a full-on wagon-fall. However, I am doing something that I have always shy-ed away from - recording exactly how much I consume in a binge. Even when I was I was having CBT for my eating issues I just couldn't bring myself to commit the truth to paper. Who exactly was I fooling? Anyway, I'm trying not to dwell on past negatives.


So I am now recording (on that website I previously mentioned), everything that passes my lips. Everything. And boy is it an eye-opener. Not just because I am more aware of how much I must have been consuming pre-band but, also because the website has a nifty function that gives you a daily nutritional profile. It gives you a pie-chart of the percentage of your daily intake you have got from protein, carbs, fat, alcohol etc. On the whole I favour carbs over protein and fats. To the point where my fat is low but so is my protein. It is certainly helping me be a little more sensible (on the whole) and try and get a more balanced intake.


I still love my crapolla. I think I need to 'schedule' a pig-out at least once a week to feed my demons. By looking back on my food and exercise diaries on the website, I have noticed the pattern of a Saturday night pig-fest. What I did this week and last, was to cut back on the calories in the day - but making sure what I did have was from high protein and fruit (a bit of chicken, boiled egg and fruit smoothie) and then I allowed myself a tube of Jaffa Cakes, an Ice Cream Mars and 4 packets of Skips.


The other side of the equation was I have been exercising daily. Yesterday I did a long walk (10 miles - my longest yet) which sounds excessive but, was thoroughly invigorating - and bear in mind I am training to walk a marathon. Having 'earned' my pig-fest, I thoroughly enjoyed it. Yes, I feel guilty and quite greedy. But, at least I don't have the overwhelming thought that, "I've blown it now, I may as well eat what I want today because I can't possibly start my 'diet' again until Monday" (Why can diets only start on a Monday? Is that just me and my ridiculous concrete thinking?). So today I am having my full calorie allowance, going for a gentle ramble with my best mate and will make healthier choices in what I do eat.


If I sound smug, I really don't mean to. It is a precarious line that I walk and I know that I easily stray. But, those are my intentions for today.


Right I'm off to do a shop now - need some strawberries for my smoothies :)
Onwards and downwards.